Comments on: Conflict: Your guide to resolving any heated argument

By: awesomepossum

awesomepossum — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:51:34 +0000

lol, so Crackgerbal you mean to tell me that there is nothing you have said in the heat of the moment that maybe if you had thought twice about it you might not have said it? and as far as saying “its ok for me to beat you cause im angry, you know i didnt mean it, i only do this when i am angry.” lol, that is a crock of shit. First of all that was taken to an extreme, and im sure the author of the article didnt have that type of situation in mind. If you know anything about the world you know that there is no one answer for everything. But what the author here is doing is sitting down and thinking of a way to make the average, everyday disagreement between to very human, and imperfect people, go just a little bit smoother.

I do agree that people should be accountable, but the only difference between fists and words is that fists will always hurt when thrown at you, but only YOU can let words thrown hurt you.

GReat article by the way, in my opinion i think everyone should at least read this over once or twice because any of these guidelines could, or would, help any heated argument go smoother.

By: crackgerbal

crackgerbal — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 20:21:59 +0000

Whatever! ignore the insults that happen as a result of an argument cause “nobody means what they say”! thats a crock of shit! it doesnt matter how angry a person is, they are still responsible for how they deal with their emotions. If someone is verbally abusive as a result of being angry, then they are responsible for hurting another person. People are definitely responsible for what they say no matter how angry you get. It doesn’t matter if they believe what they say is true or not, it could still be hurtful and they should be accountable!

Thats like saying “its ok for me to beat you cause im angry, you know i didnt mean it, i only do this when i am angry”. People are responsible for how they treat others all the time especially when angry!

By: alfred

alfred — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 08:54:52 +0000

oh yea man informative i love it

By: Divine

Divine — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 20:25:00 +0000

Thank you for posting this article. I also try hard to solve problems in relationships as much as humanly possible and this article helps tremendously. My appreciation to you is in the highest sense.
To show you my gratitude I would like to share with you a post I found that also helps with resolving problems in relationships: http://consciousflex.blogspot.com/2008/01/how-to-dissolve-problems-in-human.html
Thank you indeed, please keep up the incredible work in helping others!

By: Gary

Gary — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 03:46:32 +0000

Good stuff…My Dale Carnegie book was getting too battered…

By: Daniel D.

Daniel D. — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 15:09:50 +0000

Thank you for writing such great articles! I thoroughly enjoyed this, as well as “The Art of Verbal Intimidation : Learn it and fight back!”

In response to Peter’s comments, I simply take it as advice: take it or leave it. But its comforting to see focus on standing up to a needless power struggle in our societies. This article came particularly useful in my attempt to resolve issues between housemates of mine.

Thanks again, and you have a hooked reader!

By: Peter

Peter — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:02:17 +0000

Sorry for the continualy crittism, but I automatically play the devil’s advocate when I see no-one else doing it. (I think the best way to see if something is true is arguing against it, and seeing if it stands up to the scrutiny)
Firstly, good guide. I would say that, if you are able to do it, step 6 is the most effective. I can be hard to break a heated argument, though.
I will say, however, that you should be careful with 3 and 4. If you suddenly drop your voice and slow down in the middle of a passionate argument (It has happened to me) it can feel like the other person is trying to belittle you for letting your emotions take control, and they are being purposly condescending.
Step 11 is true, but 10 doesnt have any evedence to support it.
Sitting opposite one another is a very confrontaional pose, games like chess or draughts etc. are all done facing each other, never side by side.
And I know that most of the theories of body language are not scientific.
Sitting on the edge of a chair, leaning towards some one can be threataning (even though you say there is no risk of subconsious threats whilst sitting), yet it is also seen when people take an interest in what another is saying.
I would never speak of such common knowledge (Such as the flight or fight responce) as a verified truth. They can be the result of “common knowledge”, on which Einstein has an interseting view. “Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.”
Hope I didnt rant, and its a good article.

By: Renato

Renato — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 11:47:34 +0000

Great site! I just discovered it through StumbleUpon and liked it very much!

As a suggestion, you could write a post about logical fallacies, which are somehow related to the subjects you work with (like verbal intimidation, for example). I wrote one myself about fallacies on my field of work, urban planning (unfortunately, it´s in brazilian portuguese).

Congratulations!