Security: The Leaky Umbrella of Life

I frequently frustrate my friends and family over discussions of “security“. Throughout my life, I have been the recipient of advice that includes:

What if your business doesn’t work out? You won’t be able to re-enter the working market that easily.

House prices are going up everyday. If you miss out, you won’t be able to afford a place to live in the future.

Rent prices are crazy. People are auctioning to get into rented apartments and homes. Without a regular full-time salary, there is no way you will be considered for tenancy.

How are you going to support your kids?

Going into business is nuts! What if a difficult customer sues you?

Most businesses fail within their first year, why take the risk?

In truth, these are all partially accurate pieces of advice. However, every single one of these concerns is rooted in fear. When the fears of others are at the driving seat, are you really living for yourself?

Living in Plan-B

Growing up, we all have two plans: Plan-A and Plan-B. Plan-A is the life we want, and Plan-B is the contingency. At an early age, we are usually convinced by other people that Plan A-is unrealistic at the moment, and we should work on our fallback: Plan-B.

For me, Plan A was all about having control of my day. As a teenager, I would play basketball for hours everyday. I would feel the sun on my skin and think about the day (and dozens of beautiful girls). I figured, there is always time for work later in the evening.

On a beautiful day, thousands of people are stuck in office cubicles. With fluorescent lights, and monitor tans. I did not want this for myself. I wanted to freelance, work with my hands, or run a business that allows me the freedom to work my own hours. It wasn’t about the money. It was all about sunshine. This was my Plan A.

And then Plan B happened…

Approaching the end of my secondary education, I studied adamantly to qualify for a high-value course in University. I was told by friends and family that life is expensive, and only “professionals” can get ahead.

I studied in a double-major. Again, the idea was that if one of my majors doesn’t work out, I could qualify for work in the other. I called this: The Plan-B of Plan-B.

Toward the completion of my degrees, my colleagues were applying for full time office work. I thought to myself: “Surely my Plan-B has a solid foundation. A double-degree in two highly perceived value industries… I can always fall back on this if times get tough!”

Not so.

After re-evaluating and discussing my Plan-A with loved ones, I was informed that:

“You need to work as a professional for at least a few years, so that you can have a job to come back to if things go sour. Besides, without any contacts or networks - you will not be able to make money out on your own.”

I agreed. It made sense. Years later, Plan-A was washed away with almost a decade of rain. I no longer had two Plans. I was living Plan-B.

While commuting to work one day, I found a basketball court close to our office block. At lunch times, I would change out of my monkey suit and play basketball on my own. I would gather my thoughts, and feel the sunshine. It reminded me of my teenage years… and then my Plan A.

Every few minutes, I would look at the time - so as not to offend my employer if I arrived back late. With each passing minute, I was closer to saying farewell to the sunshine. My life was governed by others, and whether or not I was productive, they wanted to see that I was seated at my desk.

On one sunny day, I got tired of looking at my watch. I got tired of only having one hour to enjoy the daylight. I was a human being, but felt like my life was run on other people’s schedules and ideologies.

I came home that day, and spoke with my wife. By cutting down on luxuries, we could focus on the way we live rather than what we have. She can work fewer hours, and I can focus on getting Plan-A into effect. I said good-bye to my job, farewell to dining out, and adios to our nicely located apartment.

I told Plan-B to fuck off.

The Worst Case Scenario

As a sensible young adult, all sorts of fearful questions plagued my mind. I had so many “What ifs” floating around in my head, I don’t know how I managed to chop lettuce without amputating my left hand.

What if I run out of money?

What if I can’t make the rent?

What if I get fired?

What if the economy turns sour?

What if I miss out on buying a house?

What if the cost of living goes up faster than my salary?

In reality, all of these things have happened to me. In the pursuit of Plan-A, I have been broke and even lived in my car for a short time. To make things easier, I asked my wife to move back in with her parents temporarily. It was an experience I am glad to have had - because it really wasn’t that bad. Looking back, it was like a small adventure, and one that has made me appreciate small luxuries.

Life throws curve balls at you all the time. This uncertainty is what makes life interesting. It is the hardship, the stories, the camaraderie and the eventual bouncing back that creates those lasting memories.

I have lived through what most middle-income families would consider their “worst case scenario“, and I can definitely think of cases much worse. Let me put it simply, if you are alive and are not poverty stricken - your “worst-case scenario” is another person’s dream come true.

Security breeds more Insecurity

The need for security extends beyond work to our homes. Home-owners consider themselves to be more secure than renters. They have “locked-in” a house at a particular price, and attempt to pay the mortgage in regular intervals.

The need to own your own home is the product of years of advice by previous home owners (who likely purchased their homes at a more affordable rate) and millions of dollars spent in advertising, contributed by banks and real estate agents worldwide.

The need for stability, and the fear of “missing out” on your claim to land has an interesting effect. It ends up putting the home-owner in the most insecure position of all: owing money to a bank. The fear of missing out on a home transforms into the fear of losing your home.

Thousands of people travelling to work everyday to partake in jobs they would otherwise leave, had it not been for the threat of foreclosure.

You trade the hours of your day-to-day life for the sake of security, and end up feeling just as insecure. If you miss out on enough of those monthly payments, you can say good-bye to your home.

The point I am trying to make is not an argument against home ownership. Renters also suffer the same dilemma. In fact, I am merely pointing out that security is an illusion, there is no such thing.

Advertising agencies for Banks and Insurance companies show us lovely images of people under “Umbrellas” protected from a rainy day. Real estate agents push the idea that “now is the time to buy” and “don’t miss out on your dream home”. These forms of messages are self-serving, and in reality offer you the same protection as a wooly jumper in a gun fight.

In the workplace of my dreams, 500 highly skilled employees were recently sacked, and their jobs were outsourced to India. My brother saw dozens of his work colleagues lose their jobs due to “corporate restructuring”. The security of having a full time job transforms into the insecurity of handing over your livelihood to an employer, maintaining a single source of income, and the possibility of losing your job.

Every year, thousands of college and University students enter into majors that may be out of demand by the time they graduate. The influx of new graduates further dilutes the demand, reducing the pay rates for these jobs - and puts the ageing workforce at risk.

Education and employment only increase our “perception” of security while adding no security whatsoever.

Ultimately, we have:

No Security

and

Limited Time

So why waste one, on the other? If you will achieve no real security in any path you take, then why not take the path that brings you, at the very least, fulfilment.

What about the children?

Whenever I bring up the topic of financial security and stability with friends, someone will almost always bring up “children“:

“What about children? Kids need a stable environment. They need a nice home.”

I say:

“No. What kids need is more time to spend with their parents. If you ask any child whether they could have a bigger house, or spend more time with mummy or daddy - what do you think their response will be?”

Most adults have about 18 to 20 years to spend with their children before they move out of home. In an effort to secure a great house at a good location, and a family sedan to compliment it - parents are leaving young children in day care. I am happy to kiss security good-bye, so long as I can kiss the forehead of my child when he knocks his head for the first time.

I told my wife that I want to be able to work from home, so that I can help her raise our children - instead of coming home from the office long after they are asleep. My kids may not be the wealthiest in the school, but they are rich with my time. If they ever ask me why we do not own a BMW, I will happily explain.

I understand that financial hardship may be difficult, especially when you want the best for your children. However, I refuse to believe that children prioritise quality footwear over time with their parents.

Kids are resilient, and their ability to adapt to change is often discredited. If children can cross the boundaries of countries, learn new languages and adapt to foster parents, it stands to reason that they can also cope with your Plan-As.

As a child, I could sense when my parents were stressed or unhappy. If you are living in your Plan-B, you may not be the only one in your home to recognise its effects.

Stability is over-rated

If you have lived the majority of your life in a safe, secure environment: congratulations - I look forward to seeing you on a Harley Davidson as you ride that mid-life crisis into the sunset.

In our society, we over-emphasise the importance of security and stability. If you take a look at the types of cover offered by Insurance Brokers, our obsession with security becomes evident.

We are so safe in our modern culture, that any event that introduces uncertainty affects us. We even see cases of suicide and severe depression resulting from workplace down-sizing.

People, like you and I, trapped in jobs they hate to secure a home they love. The very things they own, end up owning them.

So often I hear: “What if you miss out on buying a home?” I think, “What if I spend twenty years worrying about how I’m going to pay it off? What if I miss out on living my life the way I want to live it?”

There is no security. There are no “What ifs..”. There is you, and a clock that counts backwards until there is no more you. None of us escapes death, and you should do all that you can - while you can.

I may not be able to leave a big house for my children, but I will leave them with something more important: my time, our memories, and the lesson of pursuing Plan A.