Jay Morrissey

I frequently frustrate my friends and family over discussions of “security“. Throughout my life, I have been the recipient of advice that includes:

What if your business doesn’t work out? You won’t be able to re-enter the working market that easily.

House prices are going up everyday. If you miss out, you won’t be able to afford a place to live in the future.

Rent prices are crazy. People are auctioning to get into rented apartments and homes. Without a regular full-time salary, there is no way you will be considered for tenancy.

How are you going to support your kids?

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Throughout my good life, I have both received and dealt my good share of insults. Many times, this has been an amusing interaction between my friends and I. However, sharing of insults has not been limited to friends.

In my professional life, I have received plenty of personal insults, often times in front of other employees. Turning the table on these people resulted in some of the most memorable moments in my life as a business person.

This article will be light hearted, but it will give me a chance to share my thoughts on how to receive insults, and how to deal them out. There is some strong language in this article, and I recommend that parents first review it before passing it onto their kids.

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I am not a fan of self-help. This must sound strange coming from a person who writes articles pertaining to issues of self. Though I intend for the site to be a dialogue of advice rather than a source for unnecessary personal development. This site is like the friend you hang out with at the bar after 2 am, not a self-help guru at a seminar.

I will never “change your life in 4 easy steps”, nor will you “become a better person” just by reading my articles. I believe life is more complicated than that. “4 easy steps” is great for cooking a recipe, but falls short in analysing the complexity of our life.

That said, I have read many books that have made a lasting impact on my life. With these words, I do not wish to discount the power of good advice. I simply want to make the point that the lessons you learn in life will always trump those you read in a book.

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For many years, I have worked in large organisations. I believe I could easily write a list of corporate “mumbo jumbo” to fill several pages of a book. Why people feel the need to use “big meaningless words”, I will never understand.

Some years ago, I was involved in a small client meeting. My job was to gather the requirements of a project so that I can pass it onto our development team. Two very sharply dressed gentlemen entered the meeting room. I was told by a senior manager that they can be a little intimidating.

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Growing up, I was very lucky to have such selfless parents. Their kindness extended beyond family, to friends, neighbours and work colleagues. My brother and I were taught to treat everybody with respect, kindness and with a nature of giving.

With a heart of gold, I approached my schooling age - an environment that would attempt to abuse, use and crush “kindness” to a pulp. Unfortunately, this is not isolated to young school kids. I found that through all of my years, phases, stages and careers - there were a seemingly endless supply of individuals who would prey on kindness, or act with disrespect simply because they think you are “too nice.”

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Beliefs. They’re only valid when they belong to us. If only. Beliefs can be positive or self limiting, and even dangerous at times. Our environment, schooling, friends and experiences shape our belief systems. As these factors are unique, no two people on our planet share identical beliefs.

For this reason, it is important to learn to communicate effectively with those who hold a different perspective to our own. In fact, an important lesson is to prioritise human respect ahead of challenging another person’s belief.

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Love is a wonderful thing. Without downplaying the importance of love and relationships, I do want to point out that “single” people among us are often discriminated.

Of course, the severity of this discrimination is minute compared to that of race, gender and sexuality. However, single people are made to (and often make themselves) feel like something is missing. There isn’t.

As “dating” and “getting married” are such common goals in our society, I wanted to address those who have decided not to adhere to these goals. You may be single, but you’re not alone.

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If you do not ask to be paid for additional hours requested by your employer, they will not pay you. For a relatively significant part of my professional life, I worked an inordinate number of unpaid hours beyond the usual 9 to 5.

In fact, my average work week was between 70 to 80 hours. Consultancy roles often called upon working weekends, lunchtimes, late nights, and even public holidays.

Our employment contracts stipulated that we are not to discuss salary or benefits with other employees. One late evening, this rule was broken. A distinguished colleague of ours revealed that he was indeed paid overtime. Between the seven of us, he was the only one who was able to negotiate this benefit.

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A concerning statistic in Western civilisation is the rapid increase in average daily work hours. The 9-to-5 schedule has now become a mere guideline by which folks voluntarily stack extra hours.

Personally, I have volunteered unpaid overtime for many reasons. To uplift my professional profile, to reduce the chances of being retrenched, to qualify for upcoming promotions, and for the respect of my managers and colleagues. I have discovered though that working overtime without asking for reimbursement achieves none of these goals. In fact, I will demonstrate why this behaviour will work against you, and your colleagues.

If you are a hard working individual, or have kids who are starting out in the corporate environment, please read through and discuss these issues with them. There is no hypothesis here, I have learned these difficult truths firsthand and I hope you can teach it to others.

I will start with a discussion on young office workers, as they are most susceptible to developing the voluntary overtime habit.

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We all get that sick feeling in our stomach from time to time. Challenges and changes in our lives are supposed to be exciting, and yet these situations are often accompanied with anxiety.

Learning to handle anxiety is an important skill, one that can take an entire life to master. Throughout your existence, life will throw you a series of challenges, the more unique the challenge, the more anxiety will accompany it. The nature, and source of the challenge is unimportant. The critical factor is in your ability to take on the challenge in a relaxed and thoughtful manner.

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